There are no statistics to support the number of divorce cases in Nigeria but court records suggest it is on the increase. Break-ups and separation are as common as the number of relationships we have.
Many people have different reasons for quitting their marriages. Marriage to some people has become a path that needs to be threaded with caution. This has resulted to late marriages in the society and people living together without necessarily getting married. Marriages take more commitment.
On a current study by Gfk Roper on Why Americans Divorce, Abuse is the number one reason people decide to divorce, according to poll results. The poll, commissioned by Wevorce.com, showed that 36 per cent of respondents said that they divorced over physical or verbal abuse. Financial issues ran a distant second at 22 per cent.
GFK Roper spoke to more than 1,500 people by telephone in September to discuss marriage and divorce issues with them. Slightly more than half of the respondents, 860 were women, and the rest were men. There is a margin of error of plus or minus 2.6 per cent for the sample.
When looked at separately, men and women were divided on what they saw as the reasons for their divorces. Women overwhelmingly said they made the decision to divorce because of abuse issues with a response rate of 48 per cent. But 23 per cent of men said the reasons they divorced were based on money. Another 22 per cent of men cited sex as the reason for the divorce.
In fact, sex as a reason for divorce was the most divergent response. It was high on the list for men, but very low on the list for women. Just 11 per cent of women said sex was the reason they divorced.
In Nigeria, some respondents interviewed mentioned economy as one of the major causes of marital break-ups. They maintained that the level of hardship in the country is taking its toll on families where some homes have practically turned to Fuji House of Commotion where family struggles over what to eat for lack of enough food in the house.
In some homes it is either the head of the family (the man) is retrenched or under-employed and the wife is a complete housewife or managing a petty business, it takes the grace of God for peace to rein in that home because needs have to be met.
In April this year, it was reported in The Vanguard that some Abuja-based lawyers decried the high rate of divorce, and blamed the development to unpreparedness before going into the holy matrimony.
The lawyers who spoke in separate interviews, said many people marry without knowing the `dos and don’ts’ of the marriage institution. A record of divorce obtained from an FCT High Court showed that 24 divorce cases were filed from January to March in that court alone.
According to the report, Mr Abdulkarim Shaibu, a lawyer said that a lot of people that go into marriage now do not understand what marriage was all about. “What you see at times are marriages arranged by parents for their children, this is mainly among the elite, and they tend to dictate to them how to live their lives. “The consequences are what we see playing out now, where couples cannot tolerate one another because there is always a third party in the marriage.’’
Shaibu said that most couples were not prepared to face the realities, “from the beginning they already made up their minds on something, mainly wealth, and if not there, the marriage will not stand.’’
He stressed the need for parents to educate their children on the challenges in marriage to enable them take the right decision. Another lawyer, Christie Nwaka, said not knowing what one wanted could lead to break down in marriage and finally to divorce. “People are always deceived by physical appearances or wealth, and there are usually serious challenges when people who come together because of mundane things are confronted with serious issues. “Another serious issue in marriage which people refuse to talk about is sexual intercourse, it can break a marriage when it is not properly addressed and lack of communication between couples too,’’ she said.
Nwaka urged parents to allow their children to run their homes in their own way and stop interfering in any negative way. “Marriage as an institution should be respected, and the only way to do that is to teach and prepare those going into marriage on what marriage is all about and how to make success of it,’’ she said.
Civilization has also brought about women empowerment. Some women are better educated and well placed in the offices than their spouses , asking them to leave their plumb job for family roles becomes a herculean task in some cases . This can exert pressure on the marriage if the two cannot reach a consensus.
Investigations also revealed that lack of understanding between couples can lead to break up. Tolerance, sacrifice and patience are therefore the necessary ingredients for a healthy marriage. Pastor Sam Ahamba believes that 60% of characters of the couples are hidden before marriage and only begin to unfold after marriage, in that situation he says enduring the negative characters will lead to enjoyment at the end even as he says that couples must engage in meaningful communication with each other. Further search by Research Intelligence revealed that social media is opening up marriages to attack.
A report published by McKinley Irvin family law on HOW SOCIAL MEDIA AFFECTS MARRIAGE points out that social media has changed the way we meet and interact with each other. It provides a platform to learn more about people you associate with. This can be a problem, however, when it comes to romantic relationships. Research shows that increased usage of social media may lead to marital problems, infidelity, and divorce.
“YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON FACEBOOK”
It’s not only what a person does on social media, but also how much time they spend doing it that can create conflict. Excessive time spent on social media has been shown to negatively impact romantic relationships.
A recent study, published in Computers in Human Behavior, compared state-by-state divorce rates to per-capita Facebook accounts. The study found a link between social media use and decreased marriage quality in every model analyzed. It also found that a 20% annual increase in Facebook enrolment was associated with a 2.18% to 4.32% increase in divorce rates. The study’s model from the individual survey results predicts that people that do not use social media are 11% happier in their marriages than people that regularly use social media.
SOCIAL MEDIA AND INFIDELITY
Unfortunately, suspicions about a partner’s social media interactions are often warranted. One in ten adults admits to hiding messages and posts from their significant other. Eight percent of adults in relationships admit to having secret accounts. And one in three divorces now start as online affairs.
With smartphones and social media apps, it’s never been easier for dissatisfied spouses to look for a new relationship, get in contact with an ex, or seek out a fling. A whopping 30% of Tinder users are married. Sites like AshleyMadison.com even cater to married people looking for affairs – over 130 million people worldwide visit Ashley Madison each month.
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